The Weather Channel

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The radio used to play broadcasts

The Weather Channel is a radio station played from the radio in the player's Home. Its reports combine weather, local news, advertisements and warnings about unusual events around Elderfield.

The introductory broadcast is available immediately. Sixteen additional recordings are added to the radio after specific conversations or discoveries; unlocking a recording does not remove any earlier broadcasts.

Using the radio

  1. Interact with the radio in the Home.
  2. Choose The Weather Channel from the available stations.
  3. Select any broadcast that has been unlocked. Each newly discovered broadcast remains available for replay.

Most unlocks come from a one-time conversation with a shopper or weather-watching resident. Two are found by inspecting objects, and the opening broadcast needs no unlock.

Broadcast archive

The table is ordered as the broadcasts appear on the station. Each entry includes the complete recording and a time-coded transcript; transcripts are collapsed by default to keep the page compact.

Broadcast Subject How to unlock Recording and transcript
The Weather Channel The station's introductory identification and promise of local news—with some weather. Available immediately from the radio in the player's Home.
0:45

Time-coded transcript

00
02
Welcome back, listeners, to the Weather Channel.
00
09
Today, we will be bringing you plenty of news updates.
00
15
And even some weather.
00
18
Once again, you are listening to the Weather Channel.
00
24
Your favorite channel.
Pumpkin Carving The annual pumpkin-carving contest and Elderfield's unusual substitute for ordinary pumpkins. Speak to Josh during his regular Town route after progressing his early conversations. He recommends the station and mentions the pumpkin-farm segment.
2:42

Time-coded transcript

00
02
It's here, folks.
00
04
The annual pumpkin carving festival is back.
00
11
This afternoon, you can join a field full of festive friends
00
16
in the pursuit of pumpkin perfection.
00
22
Of course, by pumpkins, I mean large, empty,
00
27
scaly, orange eggs with long tentacles dangling from the bottoms, like vines.
00
37
These have traditionally proven to be a suitable substitute,
00
41
considering the fact that pumpkins cannot be grown in our town,
00
46
most likely due to the climate or, perhaps, soil content.
00
53
Many attempts to grow pumpkins invariably lead to them just sort of wandering away.
01
02
For this reason, we instead carve these scaly, orange,
01
08
slightly glowing and newly vacated eggs
01
11
that grow in the far, far back of Farmer Leroy's field.
01
17
He doesn't plant them, and yet, year after year,
01
22
they grow just in time for All Hallows' Eve.
01
29
Some have suggested that the pumpkins that wandered off all those years ago
01
34
were the heads, and now, from these mysterious eggs,
01
40
grow the bodies, which hatch in the night
01
44
and lumber off into the woods to join them.
01
50
Though, that's just an All Hallows' Eve story, of course.
01
57
The judges of the pumpkin carving contest,
02
01
hooded, silent, and wise,
02
03
will point to their favorite pumpkin at precisely 3 p.m.,
02
11
and the winning carver will be mayor for exactly one year.
02
18
So, I hope you've been practicing,
02
22
and I hope to see you at this year's pumpkin carving festival.
Clear Skies A clear-weather report that gives ominous directions to the center of the woods. Speak to the stranded shopper in Sewers 1F, below the park sewer entrance.
1:48

Time-coded transcript

00
02
And now, back to the weather.
00
07
It appears that there has been a break in the clouds, and the fog is beginning to lift.
00
18
With visibility improving, residents should now be able to enter the old woods.
00
27
You should be able to see well enough to make it very close to the center of the forest.
00
34
And as you get closer, and the light fades, you can simply follow the sounds of the footsteps of the others.
00
44
And as you approach the center of the woods, you can follow the screams until it feels like they are coming from right next to you.
00
57
As if you could reach out and touch whoever is screaming.
01
03
You could try, but your hands will reach only air, and the screaming will stop.
01
13
That is the center of the forest, and you will be alone.
01
25
At least that's one option if you are looking for something to do on this clear, beautiful night.
01
32
And now, music.
Skeletal Remains Skeletal remains found near a jogging trail and the response of local skeletons. Speak to the shopper on the Farm Path.
1:54

Time-coded transcript

00
00
Speaking of bones, a local member of the joggers club has made a gruesome discovery.
00
08
This anonymous jogger reported to local police that they were out for their usual morning jog
00
15
when they stumbled across a set of skeletal remains just off the jogging trail hidden behind a bush.
00
25
Whether the cause of death was an accident or something more sinister has not yet been determined,
00
34
but the local skeletons are nervous regardless.
00
42
This is the second set of bones found in less than two weeks, so many are speculating that we could have a serial skeleton killer on our hands.
00
50
Many skeleton members of the local joggers club have stopped going out for jogs until the case is solved.
00
58
However, some skeletons have been going out in groups and jogging together as a sign of
01
06
perseverance and solidarity against this potential threat.
01
15
There has also been growing concern amongst the fully human residents as they could be targets as well if this killer expands their
01
22
range to include those who are only part skeleton. All I can say is that I hope this case is resolved
01
32
soon so that things can get back to normal. And now, music.
Neighborhood Watch Reports of small hooded figures painting symbols around the residential district. During the Season of Rebirth, speak to the shopper outside the Mall.
1:47

Time-coded transcript

00
02
And now, an update from the local neighborhood watch.
00
07
It would seem that there have been some shady characters lurking around the residential parts of town.
00
15
Robed, hooded figures have been scurrying about in the night.
00
21
These characters are quite small, about the size of a twelve-year-old child,
00
27
and the sound of playful giggling has been heard, echoing through the night,
00
33
as they disappear around the corners of endless rows of red picket fences,
00
39
the moment a flashlight is turned upon them.
00
43
The members of the local neighborhood watch have been working to capture one of these figures,
00
49
and trap them in one of the cages in the neighborhood watch dungeon,
00
54
but have had no success so far.
00
59
Once these figures slip into the darkness, it is as if they have disappeared completely,
01
06
rendering all the traps and weapons of the neighborhood watch completely useless.
01
13
So far, these robed, hooded figures have not caused any real harm,
01
19
as they have just been painting strange symbols on buildings and fences.
01
26
It's anyone's guess what they're up to, but if they really are mischievous youth,
01
32
we probably wouldn't understand anyways.
Mall Sale The Mall's first reported sale and a warning about navigating its corridors. Speak to the shopper on the first floor of the Mall.
1:12

Time-coded transcript

00
03
And now, a local business spotlight.
00
08
It would appear that the local mall is having a sale.
00
12
This marks the first sale since the mall opened over 1,000 years ago, before our lovely town was built around it.
00
24
During the sale, you'll be able to receive up to 50% off anything you can find.
00
32
Of course, finding anything in the mall is generally the hard part.
00
38
Not just products, but finding your way in general can be quite challenging.
00
46
So come on down to the mall.
00
48
And remember, if you hear footsteps and heavy breathing close behind you, don't turn around.
Clouds A weather report that turns clouds into a meditation on doubt, fog and death. Inspect the life-preserver display in the empty store inside the Mall.
1:14

Time-coded transcript

00
02
And now, a weather update.
00
06
This evening will be cloudy.
00
11
Clouds of doubt.
00
14
Clouds of uncertainty.
00
17
Perhaps, the ever-looming cloud of death, which stalks us all.
00
25
Sometimes, clouds loom over us, hovering in the sky.
00
30
Other times, you may find yourself trapped within the cloud.
00
36
The thick, choking fog of a dank cemetery wrapping around your feet.
00
45
No matter which cloud you will find next, it is important to be mindful of the weather.
00
52
We now return to our regular programming.
Dog Days A report on local dogs, their habits and the hazards of the season. Speak to the weather-watching resident on the Rooftop.
2:08

Time-coded transcript

00
02
Attention listeners, this is your annual scheduled reminder that tonight, and just for tonight, your dog is not yours.
00
17
Open your front door at exactly 10pm. The dog will leave.
00
24
You won't know where it has gone, but that's okay. You don't need to know everything. Just relax.
00
36
While the dog is gone, you will hear strange sounds, as if something is scraping against the outside of your house
00
42
and breathing heavily, painfully.
00
48
This sound will start from behind your house and gradually move along the sides, inching closer to your open door.
01
01
No matter what, do not close your door. If you do, you will lose your dog forever.
01
13
When the sound seems to be coming from just outside your door, wait a moment.
01
21
Your dog will emerge through the door, carrying in its mouth an object from your childhood.
01
29
At first, you will be scared, confused, but soon you will just be happy, and a little bit sad.
01
42
If you have a cat, well, don't worry, you will probably be just fine.
Road Closed A closure notice and the station's directions around the affected road. Speak to the weather-watching resident at the Old Woods entrance.
1:50

Time-coded transcript

00
02
And now, a traffic update.
00
07
It would seem that a large tree has fallen, blocking the only road out of town.
00
16
A car has been reported to have crashed into the tree.
00
21
The crash was not initially reported,
00
24
and the accident site was discovered by chance by a local officer during a routine patrol.
00
33
The car was found abandoned, with enough blood inside to indicate that the driver and passengers were likely injured in the crash.
00
45
It is likely that the motorists fled the scene, fearing the penalties for tree murder.
00
55
It was bad luck that the tree they killed was one from the great, Old Woods, as they carry the highest penalty.
01
07
It is perhaps worse luck that the trail of blood indicates that they fled the scene into the Old Woods.
01
16
The punishment from law enforcement would have been severe.,
01
21
But, the punishment from the Old Woods will be much, much worse.
01
30
This has been a traffic update.
Flooding Sale A sale at the flooded basement mall connected to the sewers. Speak to the weather-watching resident on the second floor of the Art Gallery.
1:04

Time-coded transcript

00
02
And now, a message from the mall.
00
06
No, not that mall. The other one.
00
10
The basement mall. The mall that connects to the sewers.
00
15
That mall is having a flooding sale.
00
19
The mall is flooding, and everything is 50% off.
00
25
Bring your boots.
00
27
This message has been brought to you by the mall.
00
33
No, not that one. The other one.
00
37
We just went over this.
00
39
Yeah, that's right. That one.
00
44
And now, music.
Local Wildlife A report on unusual wildlife and the risks of approaching it. Speak to the weather-watching resident inside the first cabin in the Old Woods.
1:56

Time-coded transcript

00
03
And now for a local wildlife spotlight.
00
08
Today's spotlight is about, well, it's some kind of large slug with pincers.
00
20
There are short feathers on its back where wings would be, but they are far too small for flight.
00
31
We have this animal in the station, actually, in a pet carrier.
00
39
Farmer Leroy told us all about it, and we asked if he could catch one and bring it in.
00
47
There are hundreds, apparently, and they have been a real nuisance for his crops.
00
55
It isn't that they eat them exactly, but they have been attaching small, sticky spheres to any vegetables that they can get their mandibles on.
01
08
Since their arrival, Farmer Leroy claims that his dreams and the dreams of his family members
01
16
have been becoming stranger and sort of fusing together, as he put it.
01
25
Nature truly is a wonder, and it's anyone's guess what other mysterious creatures lurk around out there in the night.
01
37
It almost seems like there's something new every week around here.
Love The station's characteristically unsettling reflection on love. Speak to the weather-watching resident on Catacombs 2F.
1:25

Time-coded transcript

00
03
Ah, love, that familiar, tingly feeling, destroyer of happiness, bane of progress.
00
18
If you or someone you know is experiencing this emotion,
00
23
you may want to reach out to the local psychiatry office of Dr. Matheson.
00
34
Using a series of innovative, modern techniques,
00
38
Dr. Matheson may be able to rid you of this feeling, and potentially all others.
00
46
Anxiety, curiosity, hunger, they can all get in the way.
00
54
And we're fortunate to have a local solution at an affordable price.
01
01
Free, in fact.
01
04
Support local businesses, and reach out to the offices of Dr. Matheson,
01
12
next time your feelings get in the way.
Mark's Meat An advertisement for Mark's Meat and its products. Speak to the weather-watching resident in the Church district of Town.
1:22

Time-coded transcript

00
02
And now, a sponsored message from Mark's Meat.
00
09
Are you a vegetarian who misses the sweet, sweet taste of once-living flesh?
00
17
Mark's Meat has you covered.
00
20
We are proud to introduce the world's first entirely animal-sourced vegetarian meat.
00
28
We have developed a process by which we extract the soul from the animals, and then slaughter them.
00
36
Their useless, meaty husks are turned into delicious meat products,
00
42
while their souls are kept safe, allowed to live in our luxury storage devices.
00
51
Many vegetarians are happy to eat fish, due to their obviously soulless nature.
00
58
And now, we've managed to extend that principle to all animals.
01
04
So, come on down to Mark's Meat, and find something dead to eat.
Shadows A report about shadows and what may move within them. Speak to the weather-watching resident in the Deep Catacombs.
1:40

Time-coded transcript

00
02
It's a great big dark world out there, listeners.
00
08
Every night, the sun goes down, and the inky black voids that cower in corners under the
00
17
trees begin to expand until they consume every inch of the world.
00
25
Sit in one of these corners, listeners, or beneath one of these trees.
00
35
Sit there while the sun still lights the spaces beyond, and stay there until the sun is gone
00
45
and the void is complete.
00
49
You will then be one with the shadows, a being of the night.
00
56
Will you be able to return to the world of light?
01
01
Who can say?
01
04
Perhaps you will fade back into the corners along with the void when the sun returns,
01
12
forever trapped on the other side of life's mirror.
01
19
This has been a sponsored message from Pete's Industrial Lighting.
Spiders A warning about spiders and their presence around Elderfield. Speak to the weather-watching resident in the second section of Sewers 1F.
2:18

Time-coded transcript

00
01
I don't know about you, listeners, but I hate spiders.
00
09
Creepy crawlies crawling around, spindly little legs, and too many eyes.
00
18
Getting into your bed, crawling around on your face while you sleep.
00
25
In your ears and up your nose.
00
29
I just hate them.
00
32
Cutting into a beautiful birthday cake.
00
35
And what's this?
00
37
It's filled with spiders, pouring out everywhere.
00
42
Man, I would hate that.
00
47
If you're like me, and you hate spiders as much as I do,
00
51
you will not be pleased to hear that we have a real spider problem around here lately.
00
58
Not a spider problem in the sense that there are lots of spiders,
01
03
so much as one extremely large spider.
01
07
Its legs are about six feet long each,
01
11
and yet it is wiry enough to pop up out of your toilet unannounced,
01
15
grab something to eat, like an unguarded sandwich or cat,
01
22
and disappear back into the sewers.
01
26
The local weirdos who actually like spiders have taken to affectionately calling him Hank.
01
34
Or at least, I'm just assuming it's a he, as I'm not really sure how you're supposed to tell.
01
43
But the shrieking sound it makes is very low-pitched and masculine.
01
50
Anyways, I would suggest locking your bathroom doors,
01
55
and hoping that he doesn't have a plan B.
01
59
This has been a local wildlife spotlight.
The Local Joggers Club A seasonal message sponsored by the Local Joggers Club. Speak to the weather-watching resident by the bus area in the Old Woods.
1:34

Time-coded transcript

00
02
It's that time of year again, listeners.
00
05
They will don their uncanny masks and chase you in the night.
00
12
It's the local joggers club.
00
17
Who's that at the top of the hill, in the dark, with a bat?
00
25
It's the local joggers club.
00
29
They're catching up, screaming down the narrow streets.
00
36
It's the local joggers club.
00
41
Blood on the pavement, too much excitement, an accident.
00
49
Hollow footsteps receding into the woods.
00
55
It's the local joggers club.
01
01
Scares for all, fun for all ages.
01
06
This message has been sponsored by the local joggers club.
Treetops A report concerning the treetops and what might be watching from above. Inspect the paper containing a radio frequency among the debris in the Deep Woods.
1:27

Time-coded transcript

00
02
I wonder, listeners, have you ever stared at the black treetops on the horizon against
00
12
the pale night sky? Giant pointed monoliths, great swaying crows' wings, jet black witches' caps.
00
26
You may find it enjoyable to stare at these, peacefully swaying in the cool night breeze,
00
38
but what do you do when one sways too much? What do you do when one tree ducks behind another
00
51
and doesn't come back? What do you do when you hear the creaking of the trees
01
00
turn into rhythmic crashing, growing louder, closer?
01
09
I don't know what you do, listeners. I just don't know.

See also